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Sulia is being extremely decietful here, expecting to be followed by spies, speaking on about four different levels at once, to the point that it may confuse the reader. Although not present in the original Discord due to technical limitations, I have taken the liberty of highlighting things Sulia wants spies to hear in her "loud voice" colour, as opposed to her low or quiet speech colour. She's not actually speaking terribly much louder, that would be too obvious. Of course, she reserves the most secret things for «⠀telepathy.⠀»
Some posts have had paragraphs moved up to the middle of the post they are responding to for a natural flow of events.
In all cases a change in authorship is noted by a horizontal rule.
Some posts have had paragraphs moved up to the middle of the post they are responding to for a natural flow of events.
In all cases a change in authorship is noted by a horizontal rule.
Sulia was on the hunt.
Her current mark was an elusive one. Dangerous and powerful, too. She'd gone after similar, during the war, but never one of this calibre. Nevertheless, she mattered more than mere coin.
One might say Sulia had been after such for years, from a certain point of view. Had it within her sights for a few fleeting months before it seemed to slip away again. That angered Sulia, and she bathed in that anger. It gave her focus, made her stronger, and more importantly, it could throw other, even more dangerous entities off of her true feelings:
Love -- or an extension of love directed elsewhere, to be precise.
Her mark's children were in the care of her mate today, Sulia noted, and her friends otherwise occupied. Not even her other family were available... else neither would Sulia be. And Sulia just happened to know she was low on her favourite gummies.
Midnight robes wrapped about her, envirosuit set to a dark olive green for this occasion, Sulia tossed a small packet in her hand has she leaned against the building, grinning under her helmet as she felt the familiar presence draw near...
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The gentle clink of the ceramic bowl against Raine's palm was a comforting rhythm against the murmur of the city. Alzada City, alive with the soft hum of ambient night sounds, was a tapestry of light and shadow under the velvet cloak of the evening sky. The air, warm and thick with the scent of blooming jasmine, carried the faintest hint of cinnamon and sugar, a lingering echo of the decadent treat she carried.
Raine could not wait to savor the taste of the warm, gooey Kableh's Pudding. It was an almost tradition these days, a ritual she indulged in every month. The pudding, a symphony of rich, creamy vanilla infused with a hint of nutmeg, was a comfort, a reminder of simpler times, of laughter shared with friends under the same star-dusted sky.
She strolled along the silent market square, her eyes dancing across the dormant stalls, dim frames illuminated by a subtle glow of flickering lanterns. The rhythmic songs of the cicadas, the soft melody of a nightingale, and the soft glimmer of wind-chasing fireflies, all weaved into the symphony of the city.
Raine paused, drawn to the warmth of a street vendor's cart, its flickering flame casting long shadows on the cobblestones. The vendor, a weathered man with kind eyes, offered her a steaming cup of spiced tea, its aroma a comforting blend of cardamom and ginger. She accepted, the warmth of the cup a welcome contrast to the cool spring air.
As she sipped the tea, her gaze drifted upwards. The stars, like diamonds scattered across a velvet canvas, shimmered in the vast expanse of the night sky. A sense of peace washed over her, a quiet contentment that only the city, under its star-kissed cloak, could offer.
The night was young, and the city, with its secrets and stories, beckoned her. Raine, with a smile on her lips and a heart full of warmth, took a final sip of her tea, the sweetness of the pudding lingering on her tongue. The city, her city, awaited her, and she, with a newfound sense of purpose, was ready to embrace its magic.
"Would you like a jelly baby... my master? And to take a walk with your apprentice."
The speeder was just around the corner, Raine thought. Soon, she'd be on her way back home. Just then, she noticed an enigmatic shape leaning against a nearby building. And it wasn't until she came nearer and the figure spoke, that the Jedi's face brightened with a smile of recognition and surprise, not expecting to find her apprentice here, of all places.
"I've never been a fan of the jelly babies' texture," she admitted, recalling sampling a few once, when Barragh wanted to see if she was ready for a taste of something different than the usual he procured for her. "At this point, I'm almost convinced I could be addicted to gelatin. There is just... something about this little bouncy protein that tickles my palate in all the right ways. Although..." she canted her head with an amiable smile, not wanting to come across as dismissive of Sulia's offering, "I suppose every now and then, it is good to break the mold. Why not?" She extended one hand toward the Mirialan, as if to accept her apprentice's offering whilst clutching the ceramic dish securely against her midriff.
Sulia allowed Raine to take one before tucking the bag away. "A prototype recipe. I'm told the final version may have more kick."
With a tilt of her head, she continued without waiting. "Come, let us go somewhere with less distraction. I know a place nearby, unless you would prefer to take conveyance to somewhere..." Sulia twirled her hand, "more remote?"
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Raine, ever the adventurous soul, popped the "prototype recipe" jelly belly into her mouth. The burst of citrusy sweetness was like a summer day in a single bite. The tangy grapefruit, lemon, and orange flavors danced on her tongue, leaving a refreshing, invigorating aftertaste. "Wow," she exclaimed, her eyes widening in surprise. "This is incredible! It's like a summer day in a single bite."
Calming down somewhat, she thought of Sulia's suggestion. "Well, my swoop is right around the corner, but this dessert shouldn't be left without proper refrigeration for long. So let me put it in the cooler I have left mounted on the back of the swoop and then we can go off to that place you mentioned."
Pending that Sulia had no objections, she would lead them both toward the swoop and take care of her dessert before turning to the Mirialan and gesturing for her to lead the way.
Inwardly, Sulia was relieved. Raine was not Vroom and Sulia did not expect her flying would loosen the contents of her stomach, but nonetheless an association had been formed between being in a speeder with Raine and that happening.
"As you wish," Sulia replied simply as Raine put away her dessert, and proceeded to set a leisurely pace down the alley. "I have a number of little meditation spots I know -- or rather, keep track of -- on Albion. I think of them as eddies in the current of the Force," she explained, quietly. Barely audible, she elaborated, "I took your mother to one on a date once. I am sure you know how she is about security."
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Raising a brow, Raine said nothing. That Sulia and Muriel had an 'affinity' for one another, she already knew - just wasn't entirely sure how far this inclination extended. Perhaps Sulia was about to shed more light on that very subject, Raine thought as they walked toward the park.
There was a slight break in the pattern of the streets as they made accommodation for topography, and they came upon a park. Dimly lit signs noted it was open during daylight hours, but there was no guard. "This one... well, I ran into Jhann here, once. He took me to a nearby cemetery, to discuss the importance of respecting the dead."
"How I wish I was a fly on the nearest headstone if only to witness THAT meeting with Jhann," she quipped with a sly grin. "I find him strange and contradictory at times. Though I have a feeling that he likes you above all the Jedi folk put together," she remarked, voice growing thoughtful.
Simple clinker walkways wound through angular structures, and the sounds of the city dropped away. The Force was quiet here, sharpening their focus on themselves. Finally, Sulia unsealed her helmet and smiled to her master. "There is much in life that has been distracting us, but here, there are none. Just us."
"Indeed," Raine replied, her helmet coming off with a soft hiss. The air was crisp, a welcome change from the humid city below. She inhaled deeply, the scent of pine and earth filling her lungs. "This place is almost a haven, a sanctuary from the noise and the chaos. It is a place where we can reconnect with ourselves, with the Force, and with each other."
She looked at Sulia, her gaze lingering on the Mirialan's face, a hint of a smile playing on her lips. "Just us," Raine echoed softly, "and the whispers of the Force." She gestured towards the towering trees that surrounded them, their branches reaching towards the sky like grasping hands. "What do you feel, Sulia? What does the Force whisper to you here?"
Closing her eyes and tilting her head slightly down and to the side as she exhaled, Sulia's smile briefly became a smirk before she steadied her composure. You went hunting for the Jedi, and caught her for exactly this. Now it's her turn. As Raine asked, Sulia felt out into the tapestry of the Force, seeking out her place within its cosmic depths.
"I, like this park, stand in a small clearing amidst chaos. Threads from my past shriek as they are torn away by the pull of the future I have committed to, but in this moment, I am, for now, safe and centred." Opening her eyes, she looked up to Raine, slightly wistful. "The threads I thought would bind us are frayed and feeble, but this was meant to be so. We are tied in other ways."
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Raine watched Sulia, her gaze unwavering as the latter spoke. She understood the struggle the older woman described, the pull of the past against the beckoning future. She had felt it herself, the weight of her own history, the choices she had made, and the path she had chosen. But here, in this quiet sanctuary, she felt a sense of peace, a sense of purpose.
The Jedi nodded slowly, her expression thoughtful. "The Force is a tapestry indeed," she agreed, "woven with threads of destiny and choice, of love and loss, of light and darkness. And sometimes, those threads fray and break, leaving us to pick up the pieces and weave a new pattern."
Raine paused, her gaze softening. "Tell me, Sulia, what does the future hold for you? What path are *you* weaving now? I hope it has something to do with the reason you had us come here tonight?"
Sulia nodded, and reached for Raine's hand. She spoke softly and quietly, but there was a spark of joy in her eyes. "Beautiful and terrible things. For starters, Muriel and I have..." She cocked her head, searching. "...set out, I think is the right term, to weave our destinies together. We are not clear yet on the details -- her plans are quite audacious -- but, we love each other and seek to cement that."
«⠀On a spiritual level.⠀»
Sulia gave Raine a moment to take that in before continuing, using the pause as a cover for her telepathy on the off chance anyone may be listening. "That makes you precious to me, in a way I did not forsee when we met." She searched Raine's face for some sign of her feelings, hoping the young master would allow an embrace.
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"Weave your destinies together?" Raine echoed, a thoughtful frown creasing her brow. "That sounds...intriguing. Tell me more about Muriel's plans. Audacious, you say? What *kind* of audacious?" Raine's gaze flickered to Sulia's hand, her fingers tracing the delicate lines of Sulia's palm. "And what does this mean for you, my dear? This weaving of destinies, how will it change *your* life?"
Sulia's words hung in the air, a delicate thread of emotion connecting them. Raine felt a warmth bloom in her chest, a sensation both unfamiliar and intensely comforting. "Precious?" she echoed softly, her voice barely a whisper. The word resonated with a depth she hadn't expected, a depth that mirrored the way Sulia's presence had woven itself into her life. "I...I suppose I am," she murmured, a blush creeping up her cheeks. "But you are precious to me as well, Sulia. More than you know."
«⠀You are like a sister I never had...⠀»
Raine leaned forward, her gaze meeting Sulia's with an intensity that surprised even her. The air crackled with a silent symphony of aching anticipation as she reached out to fold the Mirialan into a gentle, almost fragile embrace - her breath held, and her heart pounding audibly in her chest.
Sister... daughter... mother... it all gets muddled up in this family, n'est-pas?
Sulia gently returned the embrace, breathing a sigh of relief. She'd been afraid of how Raine might react, especially to the last -- even if there was genuine feeling and history, would she compare Sulia's extension of love from Muriel to Raine to the proprietary interest of Vorn?
Sulia tried not to think about the ways in which she found herself similar to the Sith Lord. Or to a few others she despised, for that matter.
«⠀Perhaps you make up for those I lost.⠀» There was a great weight of pain behind that thought, a tear trickling down to wet Raine's ear, but Sulia banished that equally as swiftly, and continued to hold on to Raine. Her armour blocked out most of her natural scent, but from her right bicep there was a whiff of embers...
"I do not know how I will change," Sulia murmured. "We are considering something new." With a brief squeeze, Sulia released Raine, sliding her hands to grasp Raine's elbows. "Muriel seems... *done* with her culture's idea of marriage, and mine is of course entirely different altogether. I worried, at first, she may just be using me for her own ends... And she may yet be, if not just. Some things are impossible without opening up to genuine feeling, and indeed, something seemed to shift..."
With another sigh, Sulia looked up at the stars, in a perfect imitation of someone love-besotten for the benefit of potential spies, while she sent, «⠀It has not escaped my notice that her ideas for me seem particularly tailored to anger our friend Nereus as much as possible, and he must not know until it is done. A Force Bond, an exchange of midichlorians...»
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Raine's brow furrowed, concern etched on her face. "It's alright to be uncertain, Sulia. Change is rarely easy, and it sounds like you're facing a particularly complex one. Muriel's... *unconventional* approach to marriage is certainly a new experience for you, I imagine."
She paused, considering Sulia's words. "But you said something shifted. Can you tell me more about that? What made you feel like things changed?" Raine's grip tightened slightly, a gentle encouragement to share. "Perhaps understanding that shift will help you see the path forward, even if it's still unclear."
«⠀And a Force Bond? That's... bold. But then, Muriel always has been one for making a statement. What do you think it means for you, for her? And how do you plan to keep it hidden from Nereus?⠀» Raine's thoughts were laced with intrigue, her curiosity piqued. This was going to be interesting, indeed.
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«⠀He will know when it happens, and that puts me in grave danger. Until then, we must not speak openly of it. But... I imagine it may be a relief to her. Freedom. And the chance to experience something new, for a worthy cause. And we never can keep out of each other's minds,⠀» Sulia chuckled in her head with barely suppressed sauce.
Looking back down to Raine, she returned her squeeze. "I think... we both had to move past things that were holding us back, that first night. Fear, pain, mistrust. At least..." She cocked her head. "to move past old ones, and accept those of the present? In order to... " Sulia hesitated, searching for words. "...open up and be ourselves to one another."
Unaccustomed to having this much difficulty explaining her feelings, the normally eloquent Sulia blushed a deep blue.
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Raine's lips curved into a soft smile, understanding dawning in her eyes. "So it's not just about defying Nereus, is it? It's about... finding freedom, both for you and for Muriel. A chance to break free from the constraints of your past and embrace something new, something real."
She squeezed Sulia's hand, her touch gentle but firm. "And the Force Bond... it's not just a tool, is it? It's a way to connect, to truly understand each other on a deeper level. To be vulnerable, to trust, to be yourselves." Raine paused, her gaze searching Sulia's. "I think you're right. That night... it was a turning point. You both took a leap of faith, and it seems like it's leading you to something incredible."
She leaned in, her voice a hushed whisper. "But tell me, Sulia... what exactly does it mean to be yourselves, to each other? What are you hoping to find in this... new path you're forging? And where does that leave us - *me and you* - as master and apprentice?"
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Sulia looked deep into Raine's eyes as she spoke, nodding gently and accepting the assessment, if unnerved that she was speaking aloud about the bond, but replied in a similar, if excited whisper.
"To connect with, know, love, be a part of another being on such a level as she and I desire? Love is already an unknown adventure, a rare gift, this is..." Sulia gesticulated silently for a beat, catching her whispered breath. "I sought and fought and strove for decades, to learn to pour pure love into the Force, now that I have... here we are..." Placing a hand to her heart, she settled herself. "And if in the end, it is be simply a little more unmasked and comfortable before one another than any love, well... it will do, and I will be both lucky to have found it and honoured to have brought it to Muriel."
"At the same time... this is a path fraught with trial and danger. I cannot expect Muriel to protect me on her own." Sulia grew quiet, her thoughts drifting back to her passage through the dark gatehouse, "I have committed to myself, for her sake, to doing what I can to ensure my survival. To that end," Sulia fixed her attention back on Raine, intently now, "under these circumstances, I think I shall need your guidance more than ever."
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It became obvious at that point that Sulia was too infatuated with the feelings and possibilities stemming from her new relationship with Muriel to focus for one moment, on just the relationship between herself and her current master. For months now, Raine felt like their loose bond resembled that of a cautious friendship rather than a bonded sisterhood wrought in the Force.
She did not really answer Raine's question, other than from a standpoint of her own needs. And was it pure love Sulia was pouring into the Force or just some base desire, masquerading as love? She seemed so certain of it - on top of punctuating ta path fraught with trial and danger - that Raine's doubts only intensified.
"Well, we all have a different understanding of love, I suppose. So if you feel what you say you feel, I am very happy for you and Muriel. As far as guidance is concerned, I would need to know a lot more about this hazardous course of yours before I know *how* to help." Somehow, Raine had a feeling this guidance went far beyond helping Sulia navigate the intricacies of the Force or simply offering a shoulder to lean on.
Belonging as she was to a species with at least quadruple the clone's natural lifespan, the truth was that Sulia was simply moving slower than her master through the conversation as she savoured the moment and weaved her web. Taken aback by Raine's words and demeanor, Sulia let go of Raine's arms, letting her face fall as she reoriented.
She does not believe me. Has Albion rendered her oblivious to the obvious? That, or she may have fallen for the deception I laid for Nereus. I should be more explicit.
Raine had no doubt that if Muriel returned Sulia's feelings, she would help the Mirialan face whatever trials to come, as a team. "Still, no matter what this path that you and Muriel are both on, I will still be here. We'll learn, we'll grow, and we'll find strength in each other."
A determined glint entered Raine's eyes just as a thoughtful frown creased her brow. "But tell me, how do you plan to ensure your survival? Without putting Muriel or me into the equation - what steps are *you* considering taking?"
«⠀I suspect you misread my performance, but keep it up. Let any spies think I am merely infatuated.⠀»
"I did rather want to focus on you, my dear. While I understand you have duties, I have... missed your company." Angry, frustrated, and jealous would have been a more complete statement, but Sulia did not want to go there just yet. She crossed her arms.
"Nevertheless, to analyse your question... In the past, I relied on stealth and security. I had no allies, back then, from whom I could expect aid." Sulia took a breath.
Expectation... Raine is young, perhaps - no, clearly - unfamiliar with strategies to promote healthy relationships, or at least Mirialan ones. She may mistake my efforts to ensure long-term harmony for lack of trust and acceptance, even seeing them as an attack.
"Over time, however, it becomes exhausting, as indeed I saw you experience when we first met. Rather, now that I might have them, I think I must learn to be a better support to my allies, if even indirectly -- whether they need me to be, or not. Redundancy relieves burden, ensures group safety, and promotes respect. The specifics of which, are what I hoped I might strategise with you, but we spend so little time together."
Sulia bit her lip, dropping her hands to her hips. «⠀I also think my midichlorian research may be more important than ever.⠀»
The final step, for now, she kept to herself.
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Raine nodded slowly, a thoughtful expression on her face. "I understand," she said quietly. "The weight of carrying everything alone can be crushing. And you're right, building a support system, even indirectly, is crucial. It's not just about sharing the burden, but also about creating a network of strength and resilience."
She met Sulia's gaze, her eyes filled with understanding. "I'm here to help you strategize. We may not have much time together, but we can make the most of it. We need to explore every avenue to ensure your safety and the success of our mission."
Raine paused, a subtle shift in her demeanor. Was there something else, something Sulia wasn't sharing? Undoubtedly so, given she was talking to Dooku's former student - but Raine wasn't about to push for information. If or when Sulia felt like sharing, she would. Until then, the Jedi would make due with what she was given.
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Sulia yearned to talk about the quandaries that haunted her, but she did not fully trust Raine, After all, there she was going on about "the mission" again. Whatever Raine professed, Sulia was pretty sure the Jedi would run her through if she were to stand between her master and a mission, though perhaps she might hesitate more than when they first met. Besides, the trees had ears.
"Well, perhaps we ought to make time," Sulia retorted, allowing herself to bleed off some of her anger before giving into an apologetic sigh. "I appreciate you Raine, your friendship, the opportunities you afford me," she said, the gratitude in her eyes for Raine to see alone deep and genuine. "And this is not unusual. I learned far more from sister Saato, General Taan, and Dooku's library -- " «⠀and that.. dark place Sidious cast me into⠀» "--than I ever learnt from Tyranus directly. So it is with Master Dalen, Madams Star and T'Jarrel, and of course your mother." Sulia chuckled. "Were I, great mother forbid it, to learn at the feet of Masters Kabak and *Vorn*, I might style myself as a Ranger of old."
A show of simple infatuation with Muriel, check. Anger with and disrespect for her master, check. Comparing Vorn on equal footing to the Jedi, check. «⠀And now my deception is complete.⠀» she sent by way of apology, before her thoughts turned to a protective, solemn resolve Sulia herself did not realise she was capable of. «⠀May any who stand between me and those I care for be drawn out, drained, and crushed as though they strayed too close the Maw.⠀»
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Raine wondered at Sulia's initial retort. Was the apprentice annoyed, perhaps even angry with her master? Perhaps so; after all, Raine's life was a turbulent ride at the best of times; current circumstances making it exceedingly difficult to juggle the Jedi's priorities. With her previous apprentice, Xadao, Raine had neither a husband or children. There was no family that came first, only her padawan and the mission. Now, however--
« I know we haven't been training much. And I can certainly understand why the Jedi Order of old prohibited attachments. Perhaps I should not have taken on another apprentice, seeing how busy a life with a family would become; how my priorities would shift without question or hesitation... »
"I would like to spend more time with you, Sulia - yet it will have to be played by ear, unfortunately. I have not been fair to you as a mentor and I realize this, which is why I would not blame you if you chose to see the guidance of another. Please understand that I am not saying this to push you away. I just want you to feel like you are progressing with your studies of the Force - not stagnating. If it's not too much to ask, I would like to know your feelings on the subject," Raine concluded with a quiet smile.
« My dear sister-daughter-master, speak your doubts aloud! I would not have anyone else, and that bond I keep secret between us, » came Sulia's uncensored, affectionate mental laughter. « I am too passionate and impudent for the others, who lack the drive and pragmatism I love in you. Not even Muriel would be willing or ideal, though I find it useful to trick people into thinking she would. »
She nodded to Raine's spoken question. "Well, I may not be the best with a light saber, but more concerningly to me, I have difficulty when it comes to affecting the world around me. An artefact of my initial training on Mirial." Coming to a bench, Sulia took a seat, leaving room for Raine. "I have certain. Hm. Not so much goals, but directions that I feel I must venture, whether to prepare for the future, or to reconcile my self with the past."
Again, Sulia hesitated, averting her gaze for a moment, hoping Raine would pry but not pressing her to. "A complicated subject. However, I believe I will get there, if eventually; in the meanwhile - and perhaps Tyranus shows through me a little - I feel a need for greater clarity of vision. I think it good to get out of my own head, not to obsess over visions as he did, but consider them as any other information, especially given how oft I find myself self-guided."
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Raine settled onto the bench beside Sulia, a thoughtful silence falling between them. "It's understandable," she said softly, her gaze drifting towards the bustling cityscape beyond the park. "Being trained on Mirial can make it difficult to connect with the Force in the same way others do. But you're right, it's not about being the best with a lightsaber, it's about finding your own path, your own connection."
She leaned forward, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. "I've been there, you know? Stuck in my own head, obsessing over visions, trying to force meaning where there was none. It's a dangerous path, one that can lead to isolation and despair. You're wise to recognize that and seek a different approach."
Two masters, one raised by Jedi and turned Sith, the other raised by Sith and turned Jedi, both obsessed with visions... Sulia chuckled as she nodded acceptance of the warning.
Raine smiled gently. "You're not alone in this journey, Sulia. We all have our own struggles, our own ways of navigating the Force. And sometimes, the best way to gain clarity is to step outside of ourselves, to experience the world around us, to connect with others. It's through those connections that we truly understand ourselves and our place in the galaxy."
She paused, letting her words sink in. "Perhaps we could explore together? Not just the Force, but the world itself. I'm not talking about grand adventures, just simple moments, shared experiences. Maybe a walk through the city, a visit to a museum, or even just a quiet conversation over a cup of caf. It might be just what you need to gain some clarity, to find your own path."
Raine's gaze met Sulia's, her eyes warm and inviting. "What do you say?"
"I am not alone," she cautiously agreed, and grew solemn. "Not anymore, until you all pass away, and then..." Sulia's gaze was soft, searching, before she allowed herself a half-smile and offered a hand to squeeze. "So, yes, while I have you, let us do."
Her eyes flicked over to the nearby cemetary. "We are an insular people. To be a sojourner is to accept loss." Cracking her smile into fullness, Sulia rolled her eyes at herself back over to Raine. "Look at me," she giggled, "at this age, having lost enough friends already I grow leery of getting too close to more. It is absurd! I sound like a grandmother of a gross years, starting to collect pension and uncertain of what to do besides yell at children."
More burned in Sulia's eyes, but she did not want to spoil the moment.
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Raine chuckled, a warm sound that seemed to chase away the shadows of the cemetery. "Ah, but grandma Sulia," She teased, "yelling at children is a perfectly valid use of one's retirement years! And besides, you're far too vibrant to be relegated to such a mundane existence."
She reached out, her fingers gently enclosing Sulia's. "You know," Raine continued, her voice softening, "loss is a part of life, but it doesn't have to be the defining factor. It's okay to be cautious, to grieve, to heal. But it's also okay to embrace new connections, to find joy in the present moment. And let's be honest, who wouldn't want to have a friend like you, someone who can make them laugh even in the face of a cemetery?"
Raine noticed the flicker of something deeper in Sulia's eyes, the hint of some unspoken burden that lingered beneath the surface of her playful facade. She didn't press, understanding the unspoken weight of her past. Instead, Raine offered a gentle squeeze of her hand, a silent acknowledgement of her unspoken burdens. "It's okay," She murmured, her voice soft and reassuring. "We don't have to talk about it now." Her gaze lingered on Sulia's face, searching for a sign of understanding, a flicker of shared connection. Perhaps, in time, Sulia would be ready to share her story. But for now, Raine was content to simply be present, a silent anchor in the storm of her emotions.
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"Well, it is good to have someone to remind me not to always be so serious," she offered, returning Raine's squeeze.
Yet, if Raine was looking for understanding in Sulia's face, she recieved instead disappointment. Perhaps I ask too few questions of her...
Shifting her weight slightly, Raine offered Sulia a small, reassuring smile. "Want to walk a bit?" the Jedi suggested, gesturing towards the path that wound through the cemetery. "Maybe we can find some interesting headstones, or even a particularly well-maintained grave." She winked, trying to inject a touch of lightheartedness into the moment. "Who knows, maybe we'll even find a ghost or two."
"A ghost? My dear Jedi, you already have," Sulia replied playfully, with a flourish and a wink. "Fortunately, unlike those in the cemetary, I seem to still be attached to my body." She rose, tugging Raine to her feet, and started off down the indicated path.
"Those events, and their effects -- what happened at Halm -- are not what I wish to get into," Sulia ran her hand over a headstone, tracing an Usk on the name there. "Not now, but close... Before I met you, I had neither the impetus nor opportunity to move forward. Now, I consider... if I learn to do on my own, what the Dark Side did through me then, perhaps, that will lead to a better understanding of what happened, and of myself. Perhaps, a debt will be paid, and I shall be able to heal. Do you follow?"
Sulia did a spin as she said that, taking her surroundings in before proceeding on. "It is similar... when it comes to your mother. I could not have gotten involved with someone more demanding," she chuckled, "not that she makes demands, but who she is inspires me to demand more from myself." Looking over her shoulder, she shot Raine a wry grin. "I can hardly go back to hunting beasts and drowning my losses by partying with Halcyons, now, can I?"
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Raine followed, her gaze lingering on the headstone Sulia touched. She understood the weight of the past, the burden of events that lingered like shadows. She, too, carried her own ghosts, her own regrets. "Indeed," she said, her voice low and steady. "The path of self-discovery is rarely easy, but it is a necessary one. We learn from our mistakes, from the darkness we face, and from the light that guides us. It is a journey, not a destination."
Sulia nodded. Raine was being more accepting than she feared. Perhaps she could get into specifics, after all.
She had no doubt the Halcyons would be sending for her soon -- but that was drifting away from what mattered. Where Raine went next captured Sulia's full attention.
She caught the Mirialan's wry grin, the hint of self-deprecation in her tone. "Perhaps not," she agreed, a hint of a smile playing on her lips. "But there are other paths, other ways to find solace and purpose. And perhaps, in time, those Halcyons will welcome you back with open arms, even if you've grown beyond their revelry." She paused, then added, "And I think you'll find that demanding is a good thing, sometimes. It pushes us to be better, to strive for more." Raine looked at Sulia, grey eyes sincere. "And I, for one, am glad you're demanding more of yourself."
Oh la, finally we are getting close...
Sulia's eyes lit up, her expression sly as she turned and focused in exclusively upon those grey eyes, like a cat that had just caught the scent of a rat. "Are you, now? Why is that? What do you think I reach for? And for what would you say I should be reaching?"
She tilted her head, eyes searching to the side for a moment to send a thought before returning to Raine's, giving a slight, apologetic smile. « Do forgive the interrogation. You have been far more patient with me than I would expect of any master... »
"I really would like to know your thoughts on those last two." Her eyes betrayed a quiet desperaton as she continued, "And one might split up the last: for what I should reach for my sake, for Muriel's, for yours?" She pursed her lips, yet another question on her mind that focused more on Raine, but she did not wish to distract. Not when they had so nearly struck what weighed on her soul...
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Raine chuckled softly, a warm sound that dispelled the tension in the air. "You're right, it is an interrogation," she admitted, her gaze meeting Sulia's with a playful glint. "But a fair one, I suppose. You've been through a lot, Sulia, and it's understandable that you're seeking answers."
She tilted her head, considering Sulia's question. "I think you reach for purpose," she said, her voice gentle. "You're searching for a reason, a meaning to all that you've experienced. And I think you should reach for... well, that's a tricky one." She paused, taking a deep breath. "For yourself, I think you should reach for acceptance. For understanding, not just of what happened, but of who you are now. For Muriel, I think you should reach for connection, for a bond that transcends even the darkest times. And for me... well, I think you should reach for trust. For the ability to let go of the past and embrace the future, knowing that you are not alone."
Raine's eyes softened, her gaze filled with a warmth that Sulia could feel radiating through the air. "I know it's not easy," she continued, her voice a whisper. "But I believe in you, Sulia. I believe you can find your way, even through the darkness."
Sulia stared at Raine.
Such simple words, and yet...
She wanted to hug Raine, but stood her ground. The former politician in her wouldn't buckle for the camera she just knew had to be somewhere. The former Sith could not show weakness.
...and yet...
She'd been a fool, a tool, a thorn, and a joke to the Sith. The Separatists respected her, died for her, but never saw her as anything more than she was. The Halcyons and her newest friends accepted her, but only so far as she fit in, not her potential.
Raine said what none ever had said.
Tears trickled down Sulia's cheeks.
Now she had to know. Had to share what haunted her. The ambiguity could not stand. Besides, for those watching, it could be excellent bait. Sulia steeled herself.
"And... if that path should lead me, though it be a hundred years from now, to exist as they do? A spirit, moving from body to body? Would you, if you were around, still accept and believe in me then?"
I am ridiculous. I am nothing. She will laugh, dissuade, dismiss. Any reasonable person would. I can hear Sidious cackle, see the scorn on Tyranus's face, smell the horror in Pas's dying breath, feel Nereus's derision, Jhann's hatred, Lana's disapproval. Even Muriel would claim she does not need anyone, that she is strong enough to lose me.
Tentatively, Sulia reached for Raine's hand, her eyes soft, her voice quiet. "It feels selfish to love one such as your mother, only to abandon her through death after a mere century or two. I owe it to her to give my best. She has enough pain."
Finally having unburdened herself, that small hope she had in Raine allowed Sulia's characteristic wryness to creep back in. "Besides... I do so love to see things from new perspectives. And for you, a challenge, perhaps? I often wonder what you get out of training me, besides my friendship."
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Raine's brow furrowed, a flicker of concern crossing her features. The question, though phrased with a playful edge, held a weight that resonated deep within her. "A hundred years is a long time, Sulia," she said, her voice a soft murmur. "And who knows what paths we might walk in such a span? But this much I know: the essence of a being, its spirit, transcends the confines of flesh and bone."
She met Sulia's gaze, her eyes unwavering. "If your spirit, your essence, were to find a new vessel, a new form, I would recognize it. I would see the light that burns within you, the spark that makes you, you. And that, Sulia, is what matters. Not the form, but the *essence.*"
A faint smile touched her lips. "So, yes, I would still believe in you, even if you were to walk among us as a spirit, a whisper in the wind, a flicker of light in the darkness. Because your spirit, your essence, is a beacon, a guiding star that shines brighter than any physical form."
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